The Motherfucking Rules Lyrics
Stream the song on Soundcloud.
The Motherfucking Rules
There are some things you’re not taught in school.
Before you face your foes and look just like a fool,
It’s time you learned the motherfucking rules.
Magic tournament day is not for amateurs.
Wizards are pretentious and separate their magic,
Across all land types mana cost the schematic.
This is the start of your understanding.
Creatures come together but no longer use banding.
There are some things you’re not taught in school.
Before you face your foes and look just like a fool,
It’s time you learned the motherfucking rules.
Magic tournament day is not for amateurs.
Now this verse is to teach, is to teach you, Teach you all about the stack.
You see all spells begin in limbo before the magic is actually cast.
Only when you have priority, priority, that means that it is your turn to act.
It goes back and forth like a game of hot potato, hot potato you hold it till you pass.
Don’t get confused, confusion will lose you.
I don’t want to lose you, I want to introduce you
to the motherfucking rules, motherfucking rules.
Say hello to the motherfucking rules.
There are some things you’re not taught in school.
Before you face your foes and end up looking like a fool,
It’s time you learned the motherfucking rules.
Magic tournament day is not for amateurs.
Believe me a library is not for reading. It has no books but a good deck has 60,
60 cards deal out hard hands . Of that 60, about 24 should be lands.
If you manage the casting costs, you master the rules you’ll be the boss.
The graveyard is for your discard. A place for your opponents if you stay on your guard.
There are some things you’re not taught in school.
Before you face your foes and end up looking like a fool,
It’s time you learned the motherfucking rules.
Magic tournament day is not for amateurs.
The miniature set reproducing the Wellington suburb of Newtown - as it looked like in the 1950’s - for the film Braindead (also known as Dead Alive) with Peter Jackson.
Anyone Can Slap Cards On A Table Lyrics
Anyone Can Slap Cards On A Table
Yeah these magic players wont quit making noise.
Do they actually think their games takes any skill?
No personality, no character sheets, no charisma
I mean anyone can slap cards on a table.
Why must I be forced to come down here
And leave my chambers.
To wrangle with these silly kids,
So called players.
Comic or tragic the game should move you.
World of Darkness,
The immortal Vampiric condition
They can’t handle.
No 20 sided dice on my tables.
I will adhere to the Rule of Creation.
I will not share my Giovanni embrace
With stupid Magic players.
Humanity score is wearing thin.
If idiots keep pushing me,
I will be susceptible to my Beast,
Feral towards all Magic kids.
Who wants to play a card game that depends
On how much money you spend.
No booster packs in The Masquerade.
What is a mana pool?
Justice, wisdom, ambition, chaos, nature,
White, blue, black, red and green.
Don’t you know you created a monster
Wizards of the Coast.
[guitar solo]
No 20 sided dice on my tables.
I will adhere to the Rule of Creation.
I will not share my Giovanni embrace
With stupid Magic players.
Humanity score is wearing thin.
If idiots keep pushing me,
I will be susceptible to my Beast,
Feral towards all Magic kids.
It’s Exposition Lyrics
Stream the song on Soundcloud.
It’s Exposition
What have I
Gotten my
Self into?
There’s no way
I can play
On their level
You ok?
I must say
You are quite pale
Try to breathe
Look at me
Tell me your tale
Honestly
I feel a need
to
Express myself
I may burst
My stomach hurts
Listen up, I’ll tell you
How to find, a way to
Tell us (I mean me) what you’re feeling
People think that exposition is
Overused, a copout and a way to
Cheaply let the audience know
Everything that we’re feeling, we’re thinking with no regards to the narrative, the plot and to coherent writing
But the truth is we could not afford to hire a narrator like Arrested Development
So we’ll tell and not show
Listen to us talk
Together let us shout It’s Exposition!
All I am,
All I’ve done
Is a joke
at my birth
the doctor said
“Epic Fail”
Life can suck
We all try
just to deal
when in doubt
hating life
mulligan
hey, you’re right
I feel like
Round two’s mine!
The THIRD round
is when I’ll
break and cry
glad to help
But there’s a
Reason why
You remind
Me of my
Kid brother
He died so young
Damned caffeine!
Why, Pookie?!?
This writing Sucks so hard
Pull the script. If I weren’t
Quite so mean, I’d have friends
People think that exposition is
Overused, a copout and a way to
Cheaply let the audience know
Everything that we’re feeling, we’re thinking with no regards to the narrative, the plot and to coherent writing
But the truth is we could not afford to hire a narrator like Arrested Development
So we tell and not show
Listen to us talk
Together let us shout It’s Exposition!
Keep talking
The Rap Battle Lyrics
Stream the song on Soundcloud.
The Rap Battle
So you back for some more, it’ll take more than a card to raise the dead.
I thought we settled the score when demonic hordes rained on your head.
I’ve got a death grip on this mic with unholy strength.
Why don’t you go back home little boy and jerk off to the Sorcerer’s Queen.
Your mono color scheme don’t offend me in the least.
I know you’ve been on a losing streak, don’t pretend Kanyo East
Your green and white turns black and blue, on the mic blood red is what you spew.
I learn you, adjourn you, and burn you all before turn two
But your mana doesn’t matter when my psychic venom splatters.
Bringing pestilence to your next of kin and serving it on a platter.
Zombie master ripping faster you can’t fuck with Kanyo East.
Your punk ass name is kind of fitting cause I just tore your ass to Pieces.
Bombs be droppin’ like it’s hot off the top of my deck,
it goes mox, mox, mox, black lotus, Armageddom clock, you’re wrecked
No mana spent for unexpected death from this wrath of God event.
Can’t protect your deck, I’m rubbin’ her w/no rubber and she’s wet.
I hit you with an artifact when your heart attacked whenever you
That’s what you get for coming to a battle armed with nothing but a starter deck
My stacks will break your back with a fire breathing attack.
Juggernaut on the mic my healing sav repels the wack.
Yo novice cards wont save ya, I pop em like now & laters.
East can’t compete with wizards of the west coast’s legislature.
You’re par for the course, I’m in the source labelled a playa
with headlines that read “Reeces is a Beast,” a force of nature.
I don’t know why you continue to step to me. And my dark ritual
I burned your soul so many times you’d think it was habitual.
Let my infernal darkness steal your last breath,
Cause every time I touch the microphone it’s with the touch of death.
This is where you get bitch slapped by a fast track
booster packs of cold snap packed with a wit smack
holdin’ back artifacts that shatter like a crypt rat
to hijack and ransack you for yo win stats
an exact impact of automatic subtracts
sidetrack, backtrack, yo tactics to be whack
from unwrapped masks of tragic past attacks
to cardstacks castin’ magic rap traps
